Hi DBers - Could use some help today - I was just writing in my journal that it's easy to be calm and centered and detached when I have endless days of solitude and hours to listen to inspiring videos about love and healing from Marianne Williamson etc, but not feeling triggered when I hear from my H is a different story. And then I checked my email and got the first msg from him for a while - on a positive note, for the first time he actually said 'I hope you are well'. This is a major shift in tone from the other emails I've received. Is that a step in the right direction brought on by my complete 'going dark'? But then he said he wants to 'make a plan about moving forward'. Now I know what my plan is, but if in his mind the plan is still to separate and be 'done' then I am not ready to hear that again. I immediately went into a constricted sense of fear in my body. He is still living with friends at this point. It's only been 3 weeks since he left. There has been a suggestion on his part - although I had thought of it as well but not mentioned it, for him to come back to live in our house and I would live in our guest house. In my dreams this works out for the next few months as a way to reconnect and rebuild our friendship but I would want to slow the D train down to a screeching halt if that is indeed what he has in mind ... he has never used this word. oh dear. I am terrified of having this conversation with him that I know I will eventually need to have in which I tell him I want time before any big decisions are made. Any help with this today would be so appreciated!!!! My intuition told me this morning that he is scared, confused and lonely. but I don't know the truth at all. I haven't seen him since he left. Thoughts and ideas?????? With such Gratitude!
