Life's a Dance-One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

[melweb]

Thanks Again Sotto and bttryfly.

And I hope you're sitting down!! H came home from work Friday nite, we chatted, I am cordial. I am just sitting down with dinner, he gets his own and joins me. More cordial chatting. As I get up to take care of my dinner dishes, he says "Melweb." And its a tone I KNOW that R talk is coming. I stop and say "Yes." H says " Lets do MC." Good thing chair is still underneath me, cuz I plop right back in it. Yup-- he's not ready to give up on us, he can't help but think he'll regret it, etc. We get interuppted by S18, so convo stops.

We later pick up where we left off, and he admits he is confused, trying to stop A (its him, not her), but really wants this M to work. I remain calm and collected, and let him talk. I say, "at this point, I just need to know its over, and that you are single-minded in making M work". He says yes.

Sat night he says "no contact with OW. And she won't pursue him. She's not psycho." ( I beg to dffer, but I STFU)

I am guarded at the moment. I've been riding this crazy long enough to know it can switch tracks at any given moment. But the door is open. He can walk out in June, or he can choose to stay. But he can no longer have one foot in and one foot out. Its just too emotionally damaging/draining for me. I can live with an MLCer (thanks HaWho), but I cannot live with an MLCer who is having an A right under my nose!

I am off to church this morning, then the gym, and even a walk outside. Its beautiful weather here today. I am going to take advantage of the sunshine.
Happy Sunday everyone.