My heart raced, got that feeling in my gut, but I held my head up and walked on by. Unfortunately we have crossed paths a few times in the last year and it is unavoidable that it could happen again. Kids' sports and activities. Maybe it's the one year mark that H has been back, or that it was such a beautiful day, or maybe just maybe, I am starting to keep her in the past. She did not ruin my day, not at all.
H even made a few comments about how messed up she is and how she has had multiple As, all the while she is hugged up with her next AP under a tree, and NO one is even talking to her or acknowledging them. She lost her H, her family, all of our friends in common, and this awesome community (the event we were at). I actually pitied her for a brief moment. She is a disaster. It's pathetic.
I feel so fortunate that I have my dignity, my friends, and this community; I am able to maintain and value my Rs with people over years and my lifetime (thus far). I also think the situation helped me forgive H a little more--because for me this piecing process has been 3 steps forward then 4 steps back--today I think stepwise I am positive a few steps.
I just wanted to journal this morning. Just over 1 year ago I thought I had lost everything and my life was turned upside down. Today I see that H is a better man and my family is thriving. More so, I am beginning to feel that I am moving in the right direction.
So let me leave this with you, beautiful people. DB is for YOU and YOU only. It may bring back your spouse and it may not. The mind reading will not. Changing just to show them you are a better person will not. But life is long and time can be slllooowww. So live in the moment, take deep breaths, and know your worth. The more we value ourselves, the more others will learn to value us too. You teach everyone you meet how you deserve to be treated.
Thanks for reading, Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
