And on it goes

[job]

What the h@ll happen? Life happens, we grow up and take on more and more responsibilities as we walk the path of life. Unfortunately, your h hasn't completely grown up and his coping skills aren't very good. Some have a lot of underlying issues that don't come to the surface until mid life and they were never allowed a change to voice themselves as children, so it simmers for many years and then bubbles over at some point. Unfortunately, they don't know how to cope w/these issues when they come to the surface a crisis begins.

Unlike cuts, scars and bruises, we can't see those hidden wounds until a crisis happens. They are very good at keeping them hidden until it's too late and something triggers them. They may never have talked about their childhood or if they did, they glossed over it and felt uncomfortable talking about it. We assumed that these issues were in the past and we all focus on the future, but that's not the case for many of these mlcers...for them, those issues were unresolved. People didn't talk about MLC back many, many years ago and it wasn't until the last 20 years that people starting opening up about the behavior and talking about. Some make jokes about it, but most people are more serious about the destruction that takes place.

Bottom line, we are all learning about MLC, what causes it and how to deal w/the fallout. The most logical way to deal w/it is to keep the focus on you and your family, try to stay strong and not to take what he/she is doing personally, but really it's not about you at all. As we walk the path of life, we become wiser, listen, we share and we find ways to cope (which is far better than how they cope). We go on w/our lives and sometimes, they return...but that's far, far down the road and if he wants to reconcile and try again, ultimately you will be the one to decide if you want to try again.

So, for today, keep the focus on you, I know you get tired of me reminding you of this, but time really is on your side and what you do w/your time is up to you. Just remember, time doesn't stand still for us and we only have one life to live and we need to live it to the best of our ability. We can't recover the past, but the present is really a gift...use it wisely and the future...well...it hasn't been revealed to us yet.

Continue to read up on MLC because the more you read, the more you will understand it better.

I do hope you have a great day today!