Still more detachment, (less) anxiety and the joys of limbo

[Phoebe]

So I felt a bit down early on today and was anxious, but it passed as I got outdoors and started working. My parents had me over for dinner, so I even got in one high-quality meal for the day, including SALAD!!! Eating remains a chore, but I'm trying.

I know that I am afraid of spending the rest of my life alone, but it surely isn't because I feel like I can't handle myself. Given how badly I've been feeling about myself lately, maybe I ought to toot my own horn a little more often. Here goes: I am a tractor-driving, skid steer-operating, tool-literate, animal-keeping, competent, hard-working person. And I can do surgery on a chipmunk. Toot, toot.

Maybe my H does have reason to feel inferior? LOL.

Just kidding on that one. I still don't understand him saying that. He has so many skills that I don't.

Anyway, I did a bunch more brush hogging today, and before that I got another mess off my property with my skid steer and the help of the scrapper dude Pretty pleased to have spent the day making my corner of the world a little better.

For some reason, this morning I had this feeling like H would come back at some point. I don't know why. Part of it was just looking around at our land on this beautiful spring day and just simply being unable to understand why H wouldn't want it any more.

That said, I certainly haven't seen any evidence that he's interested in coming home. Beyond that brief text conversation a couple days ago, there's been almost no contact whatsoever for weeks, and what precious little there has been is mundane admin-quality stuff.