One thing about you pondering what is worse, to lonely alone or with someone -- being alone ain't great, but being lonely when you are married is worse because with it is hurt and rejection. To be married, but to not really be able to count on someone or feel unattached is a terrible feeling. I mean, I am not married and not seeing anyone, but I have a great network of friends and am really not loney at all. I miss intimacy a great deal, but in time that will happen - at least that is what I tell myself. Sometimes I think about an old boyfriend and using him for the time being LOL. Just joking.
The thing that is really bothering me about this is it was a fight over NOTHING. There was no point to it. She knows I hate it when she does this. I need to think of a sensible way to combat this...
Lee, Why not just pull over and cheerfully tell her to drive? No hard feelings, no sulking, just hand over the reins and refuse to participate in her negative junkola. That's my thought. A few times of that and she will learn that she can't bait you into the big fight that she is thinking will make her feel better.
Well yesterday after work I met W at her parents home. Man is she still mad. She won't sit next to me. Won't really talk to me, Nothing. So yesterday I was in a good mood and even this didn't stop my mood. I think on this one I will let her work this out her self. She needs to figure out really why she is angry. She did say she wanted an apology from me yesterday. The problem is im not sure what I did wrong.
finish the fights... driving, you both think the other is bad, when in fact it might be just a matter of preferences. But by getting mad and stopping the fight, all is left unresolved.
A better approach is to ask her just exactly what is so bad about your driving. After listening to what she says, explain to her that these things are done intentionally because that is how you like to drive. However, since she is a passenger and forced to endure the habbits of the driver, you will compromise on some of these if she will also compromise on some of her driving habits when you are the passenger.
Resutlt is that you both got to say exactly what it was that was bugging you, there was a compromise, the situation is resolved, life goes on with no more anger over driving together.
Fighting is not bad. But not finishing the fight is bad.
The thing with this is she just needs to keep her mouth shut. She already knows this bothers me its not the first time that I have told to not say anything. I think Im going to take Honey's advice. And just pull over and cheerfully say ok you can drive now. Sooner or later it will make it through her skull.
Well I had a very hard weekend this week. As many of you know the W has not been very fun to be around . So saturday I got up early to go and play some ball it was about 8am and W was just getting ready for bed.(she works Graves). My thought on the day was I will play ball and then hang with my D and have a great day till she gets up. The problem was she did not get up. I mean she slept for 24 striaght hrs. I don't think that this is normal in anyway shape or form. She has been to the Dr. and they have checked her thyroid and it is all normal now. So im thinking that she is depressed. When I got up sunday morning up she was already up and down stairs. When I get down there she is sleeping on the couch. So I tease her a little bit about her sleeping so much and she decideds she is going back up to bed. This is about 10am. She doesn't get back up till 2 pm and that is only becuase I come upstairs and wake her up. we go out to lunch. Then pretty much just hang out the rest of the night.
Yesterday after D goes to bed she says to me "you know I have not been happy the last month or so I think we need to see a counsolor.." I say "well set that up and let go"
She had this look on her face like why should I set that up. But she didn't say anything. Later that night I asked her are you going to set that up. She said maybe. So we will se what happens. I am just wondering if any of you have a take on the whole sleeping thing.
Well, my LDH faithfully goes to bed at 9 every night. Usually after fighting sleep watching TV on the couch, sometimes actually snoozing there. On weekends he will stay up a little later, but not much and most times on weekends he will take a nap or two. Sleeping is one sign of depression but could also be a sign of other things. Has your W been checked out by a dr? I am pretty certain my H's is due to depression. I have talked to many other people with LD spouses and needing alot of sleep seems to be one of the problems with them. Why don't you make the appt for the C? I wish I could even get my H to talk about going to counseling. Heck, I wish I could get my H to talk about anything except the usual "how was your day" stuff. The TV is very important to my H. I even turned it off one time when we were trying to have a conversation and he promptly turned it back on. Its the same thing every night, he parks in front of the TV I find something else to do.
I think it is different escapes for different people. My W buries herself in the damn newspaper AND she sleeps way too much. The easiest way for me to get any attention from my wife would be to wrap myself naked in newspaper and go to bed with her...maybe then she'd take an interest in me.
The Sleep thing is obviously your W's way of avoiding the issues/problems. "Hey, maybe it will go away on its own if I withdraw long enough".
My issue is after 22 years of tolerating a Low libido W, I want more in my relationship and marriage. She'll be blindsided by my dissatisfaction in our marriage....I am struggling with how to approach her with this.
. So saturday I got up early to go and play some ball it was about 8am and W was just getting ready for bed.(she works Graves). My thought on the day was I will play ball and then hang with my D and have a great day till she gets up. The problem was she did not get up. I mean she slept for 24 striaght hrs. I don't think that this is normal in anyway shape or form. She has been to the Dr. and they have checked her thyroid and it is all normal now. So im thinking that she is depressed. When I got up sunday morning up she was already up and down stairs. When I get down there she is sleeping on the couch. So I tease her a little bit about her sleeping so much and she decideds she is going back up to bed. This is about 10am. She doesn't get back up till 2 pm and that is only becuase I come upstairs and wake her up. we go out to lunch. Then pretty much just hang out the rest of the night.