WAW still angry, moved out, D on the way?

[Phoebe]

Good morning, SadHub. It's been a bit of a tough morning here, too, and I may be taking my on anxiety meds here shortly if I can't get my mind to quiet down.

I wish your sitch was unique, but I think a lot of us are beyond baffled by our spouses. My H is in an affair, but I honestly don't think that's the real problem, just another symptom. Like you, I think that something has snapped much deeper inside him. I also have no idea how we got here - I mean he told me that he loved me the very same morning he ran away from home. Nothing makes any sense to me, either.

I think that our struggle is made more difficult by this fundamental confusion. Who are these people? We've been with them for decades and yet we never saw this coming? It has shaken my self-confidence to my core because I don't feel like I understand anyone anymore. If I can't understand a man I lived with for 25 years, then who can I even begin to understand? Am I just oblivious? Is my judgement fundamentally flawed? All this self-doubt is destructive, and yet it spins around my head all the time.

I just keep coming back to my grief counselor saying that I may simply never be able to understand what has happened. All I can do is go forward.

I hope that the day brings better things, SadHub. Sending you what strength I can muster this morning!

(((SadHub)))