Hi everyone, I stepped away from the board for a while, I felt that I was living and breathing MLC and being here everyday was in affect picking at the scab daily.

Not much of interest has happened since I last posted.

I got a promotion - well more like a title as recognition for the job I am already doing. So I am now Team Leader of my department which comes with a small pay rise. I still dont intend staying in the job, but the new title looks good on my cv - especially as I have gone from being the cleaner to running a department in under a year !!The extra money I am putting straight into a savings account so I dont get used to it.

I have started IC, I got 6 subsidized sessions through the local Women's Centre with another 6 offered after that if needed. I am on week 4. I cant say I have got much out of it, but it is good to be able to ramble on to someone that is removed from my world and tell me if I my thinking is completely nutso.

What has come out of it is that I feel that I want to be more, I feel I am more and deserve it. Through choices, some my own, some h, I have ended up in this situation and only I can change it. So I have enrolled at an Open Polytechnic, I start a tertiary study skills course in July which will give me the necessary qualification to take on a diploma/degree as I have been out of education for 30yrs !! ouch saying that !! It is a fee free course so I have no excuse not to try and hopefully by the end of it (Jan 2017) I will know what course I want to go on to study - its part time learning as I need to continue working full time.

Socially I try to do something most weekends, even if its just a quick coffee with a g/friend. I have had a couple of situations with unsavory men that I managed to retreat from, why is that guys see a middle aged single women and think you must be desperate - seriously!Life experiences ha ha.

S19 moved to his dads, back to me, back to dads and now is back with me again - wears me out just writing it! He has an appointment with college mid May so fingers crossed he gets back in and can carry on with his course.
S22 is moving out of his dads in June to be with his g/friend who has a new job. He is happy and looking forward to new adventures.

Healthwise - nothing changed, I have been confirmed as Hypothyroid, not on meds (my choice) but will go on them if my blood count goes up or my symptoms get worse. The arthritis is steady, I only need the painkiller after a couple of shifts each week - another reason to find another job.

As for H - well long story. He backed out of meeting me in April, said he wasn't ready, he knows that spending time with each other draws us closer so wants to make sure that he has dealt with everything in his head. I just said OK, I understand. I don't but hey, right now this is his party and I have to wait for the invite.

ex ow made a brief (although not in a romantic or sexual way) appearance, she did her crazy thing and me another favour, making me look more sane and normal in h's eyes. One of her antics was to create a fantasy f/book relationship for them, photos and all (he left her 7 months ago!), h was upset and I think a bit shocked, he stopped being blind and has finally shut the door on that chapter of his life, not forgotten and nor should it be, it happened, it changed him and he learnt from it. I behaved myself all the way through, allowed him to deal with it and removed myself as he had her in his life; he crossed the boundary - he sorted it out quickly and kept me informed throughout the whole situation.

Contact after that became a bit more regular, he started finding excuses to say hi and then this weekend he text me asking me out for a weekend date smile Flights are booked and he is booking a hotel this week. We are meeting on weekend 14th/15th May. Its the first time since he wanted "us" that he has suggested us meeting so in a way its a big deal as I have initiated the other occasions.

So we shall see where this meeting leads me. I know either way I will be ok, I now have dreams and goals of my own to focus on - getting through this course is the first !

So that's all from me. I have a lot of sitches to catch up on, been out of the loop a bit too long.

As always thanks for reading