14 days of sheer hell STILL continues

[DDJ]

1 - yes, that about sums up my detachment issues - its now 4am, i've just awoken again and shes not home still. She's out with a safe crowd tho but i'm still anxious. I hate this feeling, but i need to feel it, crying just a little for what i'm losing and will continue to lose. I really want her to be happy. I really want me to be detached. It was not really her night out, as she had that yesterday, but since i'm out the rest of the long wknd, i can't blame her.

2 - Well, I go watch rugby, movies, hang out with my cousins, brothers and friends that i have not spent time with in years, to reconnect. I like driving and plan on driving round the peninsula this wknd too. Stopping to see the touristy sites and take in the splendour of Gods creations. I plan to go to gym at least 3 or 4 times a week. It will help me sleep better too, which is not as bad as tonight. It's really 2 bad days where I could not detach.

I don't think OM is in the picture anymore, I cannot be sure, I really don't care. I have detached regarding that at least. I will test her resolve regarding OM and see, but I do not want to hand out any cake.

3 - so a boundary for tonight would be "if my WW changes plans, then I will ensure that it does not get to me. She is out of my space and therefore not impacting on me". Which is actually not even a boundary, that's detachment... If she were impacting on me (which is why i'm getting the second car) then I would need to put in place a real boundary. I'm going to need to read more definitely.

I am forever indebted to you all for your help, regardless as to whether it saves my M. I love learning and everyday has a class test, which i usually fail :-) But i'm back in class the next day. Facing my Tiger!