Vanilla, thank you for your reply. The problems with my marriage started with my golf get always while my wife was at home with an infant and a toddler. Although I did ask her if she minded that I go, and she said she didn't mind, she felt I was selfish and insensitive for going. I went three years in a row and not once did she say that she would prefer I not go. I was selfish but I would not have gone had she requested me not to go.
I think the other choice I made was borrowing from our line of credit to help keep my business afloat. I did not discuss this with her. I did not want to admit my business was in trouble and I did not want to worry her. Thankfully, the money borrowed helped keep the business alive and all the obligations were met.
The lack of communication on both our parts is the main reason why we are where we are now. I know we are both to blame but my choices were outright bad. I do shoulder most of the game.
I am living my life but I am concerned that my GAL activities will be considered more of the same person my wife resents.
We do talk, I am very careful with my spending and the debt has been reduced substantially. No MR discussion at all. All future discussions will only take place if she initiates it.
She seems to be more interested In my day to day activities. She is asking more questions. Probably because I do not initiate conversation.
One day at a time.
She does seem more pleasant and smiles at me more often. I do not read anything into her pleasant demeanour I just hope she notices my efforts to be a better me. She has commented positively on my physical change, I just hope the inner changes have a positive reaction from her as well. Only time will tell.
Don't count the days, make the days count. Mohammad Ali
