I really like that last comment :-). It made me chuckle!. Tomorrow is the big day for my niece. IC said that it must be comforting to know that she wants me at her wedding and not OW to which I replied as far as I know OW hasn't been introduced yet and why niece would want to invite a complete stranger on her big day! Kids told me that their dad was picking them up early than I ask! I don't know why I still bother as whatever I do/ ask he doesn't reply or engage. He was the same with his ex, he'd let her do what she wanted and he would tell me that she'd learn from it! Really has he really taken a good look at himself? It's funny that the two mothers of his children hardly spoke to him, but then again there is nothing wrong with him and we are the ones who are in the wrong. This should be a huge red flag for OW that her lover has two exes with children, that he left the first one and cheated on the second one with her! H came very late to pick the kids up and brought them back 30 minutes later! Obviously in a hurry to see OW.
Saw IC today and we talked about H and my separation and she asked me how I see my future. I just replied I didn't know and I'm leaving in the present at the moment. This is a big recognition step of moving forward for me as a couple of weeks ago I'd only think about the past and what I did wrong, what if, if I had done that and so on! We also talked about D and I'm no longer afraid about it. I know it's coming but I don't know when. I won't file as I want H to once in his life (even if it's at my expense and his family)to take responsibility for his actions. He is quick to put the blame on others but himself, not this time. IC said that he might never file, I said at the moment I'm fine with it. She asked me about in the future, I told her that at the moment this isn't a discussion I want to have as the future isn't there yet and that's why it is called future :-).
I'm hoping OW will push him to file as now she will be looking for a return for her investment. She is only 38 and I don't really see her not wanting to get hitched again! H said he doesn't want to get married again. As IC said now I just need to do nothing, sit back and let things unfold with an open mind that he might not come back. I just told her that I was fine with it, and surprisingly I am!. I also asked her to move me from talking about H to me so I can recognise my self worth and love myself so I can meet the right person.
I feel it's the most hopeful post I have ever written since I have join DB about a year ago! Onwards and upwards :-)
