Still more detachment, (less) anxiety and the joys of limbo

[SH_]

Phoebe,

It is okay. Let the sadness pass through. You have just endured a very difficult task and you did so with poise and courage. The task is over and now you will naturally feel the flood of emotions.

Let it pass and be kind to yourself. Believing that you will be alone and unable to trust is looking into the future and trying to paint it with the old paint from the past. This is not fair to yourself not to the potentials of your future. Now please don't misunderstand me, your fears are normal and maybe even natural after what you are going through, but FEAR is not real. FEAR has been defined as False Evidence Appearing Real. But it is simply our mind trying to protect us based on percieved emotional or physical pain. Unfortunately while our brain tries to protect us, if we simply believe it, we create walls that can cause more harm. If you believe that you can never trust, then you will be alone.

You are working to be a better person each and everyday. You are in contact with people everyday. And when the time is right, and you have gone through the healing process you will trust again. And you are not alone even now.

I know this is not the same as what we had with our spouses, but if we would have known that we would be in this situation, would we have trusted then? Trust is a leap of faith at any season in our lives and we cannot allow the betrayal of one that we trusted to ruin it for our future self. Then we only sell ourselves short of opportunities.

You and I are going through a process and we will be better on the other side. This I believe, have hope for and will put my faith into a future with trust and companionship. It just may look different than I ever imagined, but we owe it to ourself.

Hopefully the med has calmed your nerves. Now do something that makes you smile tonight and go be with a friend or family member if possible.

You are doing well. Know this.

(((Phoebe)))