I'm also in the situation of having a husband who could announce a decision at any moment and doesn't think people can change.

I'm trying to focus on living a good life so I don't feel like I'm waiting for H to give me permission to live.

It's not easy.

Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16