Still more detachment, (less) anxiety and the joys of limbo

[Phoebe]

Sometimes I'm not sure if this site is for marriage support, or insomnia support! Or maybe it's for uncontrolled weight loss support?

Then again, we also have the ''shaking all the time' cohort, which I am proud to represent once again.

Trench humor... I figure if I can't laugh then I might as well pack it in, so I'm choosing to laugh at the absurdity that is my world these days!!! I'm glad For all the good company here, whatever group we happen to be be.

I'm super shaky again this morning. Darn it. Another L meeting where I keep my hands hidden in my lap.

[Cherry]

Yes, we make up quite the club that no one really wants to be a part of, but a supportive little community none the less.

I like sadhubs thoughts on anger, I think as we feel those waves of white anger they spur us on to be a bit more determined. And I like that he says he will make her regret her decision by making himself be the best man he can be. I'm all with him. I'm going to make h regret his decision by being the best woman that I can be.

Hope the shakes disappear before seeing the L. And hope you have a good day, even if slightly sleep deprived.

[SH_]

Keep that smile Phoebe. The endorphins will help counter the anxiety adrenaline and minimize the shakes for ya.
It's good to see you keeping the humor as we all need it a bit more in our lives these days.

You'll do great today and take a darn anti anxiety med if needed to minimize the shakes. That's what someone told me once

Sending some good karma your way and MAKE it a good day.

[Phoebe]

Smiling away over here!!! Car is all loaded and I'm just sitting around frittering the time away until I need to leave for my appointment.

No food in the house, so granola bar for breakfast. Mmmmmmm. I suppose I could go get food before the L. Not at all interested in it, though. My therapist won't be pleased.

Thanks for the small 2x4, SadHub, more like a gentle tap with a dowel, but I get it. I will definitely take the anxiety meds if I need them, but I'm not feeling anxious right now. Just shaky. I've been playing with my beta-blockers a bit. Went back to old dosage but taken in the morning instead of before bed, thinking 'who cares if I shake at night, right?' The double dose in the morning worked better, no doubt about it. My GP won't be pleased with me for playing around with my meds, either way. I suspect she already knows the frustrations of treating someone with medical training!

My life, my choice, I say!!! LOL.

SadHub, you're on notice: I'm doing my mindfulness meditation to fill some of this time. Game on, mister!

[Painter]

Go get a milk shake? Or a breakfast sandwich at 7-Eleven? I can usually always get down a banana, at least. Banana milk shake!

[SH_]

Yes Phoebe, listen to painter, your GP, me and anyone else telling you to eat something.
You need the nutrition. I know it is a challenge, but it is needed.
I know you know this, but we care and so consider this a 2x4, as this is a must day in and day out.

I find that my appetite may be missing, but my body does not reject the food. So it may be more of a chore than a joy to eat, but this is the time to "eat to live" instead of what we are accustomed to which tends to be " we live to eat".

Please make eating as much a priority as breathing for now. Keep it simple, make it nutritious, and when possible enjoy it. This will give strength which will help in the emotional healing and mental focus. Did you ever see a Buddast monk that looked like they were hungry? Haha of course not. Nutrition is good for the body and the mind, and your meditation will go better when you are fed nutritiously.
And yes, I'm gonna meditate good to night so the challenge is still on.

You got this!

And I'm gonna bug ya like your father would when you were young and not eating your veggies. You cannot get down from the table to you eat all your veggies.

[Phoebe]

I only have a couple minutes, but I'm following orders and trying to stuff down another granola bar. I'll eat real food afterward, promise.

[Phoebe]

OK, another bunch of $ into paid legal consultation, and yet another person telling me that even if H gave up all his shenanigans and came back, that it would never be the same and that I could never trust this person.

I know that, and yet I still hold out hope. I don't even know what for any more.

Are D lawyers completely jaded, or are they this way because they've seen it all before and are good at predictions?

Random aside - One thing that was very cool was that she took all her notes in shorthand!! I've never actually seen anyone use it before.

She says our residency issue is a mess and with H in yet another state it gets more complicated all the time. It would definitely be to H's advantage if the process was in his state, rather than mine. I wish that weren't the case, because it means I will lose if he filed in his state first. He has not mentioned anything, but who knows what he wanted to talk to me about today. I suspect either D or selling house out here.

Ugh. I want to wake up from this nightmare.

[BluWave]

I am proud of you, Phoebe. I hope you return home safely and feel a huge wave of relief that this trip is behind you.

-Blu

[BluWave]

OK, another bunch of $ into paid legal consultation, and yet another person telling me that even if H gave up all his shenanigans and came back, that it would never be the same and that I could never trust this person.

I know that, and yet I still hold out hope. I don't even know what for any more.

Are D lawyers completely jaded, or are they this way because they've seen it all before and are good at predictions?

Random aside - One thing that was very cool was that she took all her notes in shorthand!! I've never actually seen anyone use it before.

She says our residency issue is a mess and with H in yet another state it gets more complicated all the time. It would definitely be to H's advantage if the process was in his state, rather than mine. I wish that weren't the case, because it means I will lose if he filed in his state first. He has not mentioned anything, but who knows what he wanted to talk to me about today. I suspect either D or selling house out here.

Ugh. I want to wake up from this nightmare.

Yes! Of course not all are, but D lawyers can be jaded. Think about it, they see the worst of the worst and their job is to protect you. It is also to get your business.

The first consultation I had was with a very successful high-powered atty who is also a judge. She knows the law inside and out. I had several questions, but during that hour, I felt that she was more trying to emotionally support me. It was very kind, but not what I was looking for. She also tried to help me understand all the harm that H could do and that he would not change. She answered my questions and explained how I could protect myself legally and financially, even though in my sitch it did not benefit me to do anything. There was no room in that convo for reconciliation as a possibilty!

This is very hard, and your sitch with multiple states and assets, sounds confusing. I'm also hoping these attys are addressing if any of these are at fault states and if that makes a difference? ... And more so, I hope there is no urgency to file anything because I think that is just an added stress.

I'm sorry this is so hard. At least you are getting information on this trip.

-Blu