Hi NYGal! I'm so happy to read your latest developments. Just wanted to offer something about forgiving/getting over an affair that a MC said to me and WAH after I discovered his EA (PA?) a few years ago. We were still living in the same house so it may have to wait until you reach that point.

What she suggested was that we set aside half an hour a day for me to ask any questions I wanted to ask about the A and talk about how I was feeling. H had to answer openly and honestly etc, then that was it. Done for that day. She said it prevents the WAS from feeling overwhelmed with questions about the affair and constant guilt trips. If they know that it will only be brought up for half an hour a day it is more manageable. Another thing she suggested was to go out together once a week, during which time you are not allowed to talk about the A or day to day issues (like kids in our case). Just having fun and reconnecting.

I think you're handling things brilliantly by not rushing into things.


M-43 H-42
S-11 D-7
T-19 yrs
M-15 yrs
Bombshell 9/17/15
Sep - 11/9/15