Hi Lone, oh my goodness I'm sorry to read that. It must have been such a shock and it sounds like he has been pretty distressed about it too. What is happening to you is something I have always felt for me would be a deal breaker too. I doubt H would bother telling me direct and when I see my SS, I always feel a little anxiety that he will drop this news on me, expecting I already know.
Wanting a new family was the key reason (H told me) that he decided to file for D. He told me he loves me, I'm beautiful and have been the best wife ever (or of the two so far presumably??) But he knows he wants a new family now. He's 46 and OW is 29.
I can think of a couple of sitches where there has been a pregnancy with the OP - NDY and his W in newcomers and also Mighty in MLC. I know for NDY, there was a sense of closure and he seemed to be able to move on better knowing his W was expecting. There is such a 'lifetime' feel when there comes to be a child in the mix. It's a huge thing.
I also worked with a woman whose H got OW pregnant. They D'd and last I heard from her, she was happily dipping a toe into the dating pool a couple of years post D. Life goes on ultimately and we work through the pain and challenge.
That said, I have also known sitches where OW's have faked a pregnancy to keep the WAH close
It sounds as though the news has helped you in a way - awful though it is, it can help bring some closure and end limbo. I'm sad for your D though...that's tough for her too.
Take care and keep posting, even if you have decided to move on xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
