I just read through Zephyr's threads... all of them! Some definite similarities, though I am totally envious of the fact that his W stuck it out with him, even though severely emotionally distant, and allowed him a chance to work things out. I'd give anything to have the opportunity with my W!! Maybe because I think I could fix it?
Similarities... Line of work, codependent, emotionally distant W, fix-er. Difference... mine bailed, I was fairly happy in the R as it was though I did sense the "distance"
Now S11 and D9 seem to be inadvertently driving a wedge between us. I'll have an innocent discussion with them when W comes up, it gets misconstrued somewhere, reported to her, and a letter through atty's immediately follows. I tell the kids over and over I do not blame her, and it continues anyway. I don't understand the point of the letters, if it is planned as ammo for custody battle or W is just adding to her bitterness, or what? I guess I just need to avoid any discussions whatsoever with them about W, cut them off even if they have comments or concerns. They also tell me about things W is saying negative about me, pretty much every time I see them. Oh how I wish this madness would stop. If we could talk, this may be easily resolved.... there's my "fix it" mentality coming out again.
Not sure if I mentioned it, I have heard her FB is full of derogatory comments about me. It is visible only to her friends, but we have a few common friends. I preserve my integrity by realizing the people who read it likely do not judge me for the comments, but judge her for posting it and blaming others for her problems. In fact the person who told me said "I don't know what happened in their R, but what W is posting is just wrong." It was like that from shortly after she left, even when she still seemed to be considering R.
What can I do? How do I prevent the sitch getting worse? I am sure the D is making it worse.
