My wife has come on to me too many times in a similar fashion. "Let's do (whatever) tonight and mess round after". Then after or during 'whatever', the snore monster bites and all is lost.
I think the reason for my wife doing it is two fold. She would realize that I have needs, or she would actually be horny for a little while. A bit of time passes and the urge/need/guilt induced promise withers away. I don't think that it is malicious, but rather just a factor in the overall LD equation.
However, it is devastating to a HD person, yet another rejection.
What I eventually learned to do was ignore the offers. I usually respond with something like "thanks, that sounds great". I rarely act on the 'whatever' leading up to the promise unless 'whatever' is something I want to do. I know that 'whatever' will have to be stand alone entertainment or just an opportunity to be with my wife, because the promise part rarely materializes.
Now that my wife and I are working through our problem, things are a lot better, but I still give little credence to the after 'whatever' promises. I have learned to appreciate that the offer was sincerely meant at the time it was given.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
