You are dong very well considering how things have been playing out in your situation. I think you are wise to distance yourself a bit from the in-laws for a while. Blood is always thicker than water and no one knows what they actually know about the situation and whether or not they believe her.
Yes, your wife is trying to get a reaction out of you with respect to the toll bill. She was shocked that you didn't say much about it. She had to think about it for a while before saying thank you.
She has a lot of guilt swirling around in her soul. She's trying to blame you for the relationship or lack of relationship thereof w/her kids. She doesn't want to accept that she's the reason the kids are having some issues w/her. Until she looks in the mirror and accepts responsibility for her actions, she'll continue to blame you, the kids and the man in the moon for her problems.
As for issues w/your children, it's best that you handle them when they are w/you. You'll never get your point across with her at this time. They are hearing that baby talk somewhere and I suspect your wife is encouraging it. Children don't normally fall back into that after a certain age.
I'm very sorry that things are still a bit all over the place, but you are doing a great job in meeting each obstacle head on. Keep up the good work!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
