He added a new car to the ins a few weeks ago--I am still paying that. My payment is nearly doubled for the next two months and I wasn't planning on that. I went overboard with my GAL spending for April and there are a few things--birthdays and celebrations--that I need to plan for, for May but I will have a stunted check mid month because of vacation. And I need to budget for a cushion to get me through the summer just in case I can't find summer work.
I'm feeling a little bit scared again. I really hope I start to get some fin support from him soon. How on Earth did he manage to be the one who has everything when he was the one who wanted to leave it all? He keeps the home with the subsidized rent. He still has all of my stuff. I had to get a place at market value and stock it up with all stuff I already own but have no access to because he is hording it. I am stuck paying the car ins bill and he just goes ahead and adds a new car to it. He isn't even paying his L. Who knows if the household bills are even being paid now that I'm not there to pay them. But somehow he always gets out of paying for things. Yet he will be Mr generous when it comes to gifts. Once he threw me a birthday party but paid for it all on my credit card (my paid in full every month credit card) he told me hed give me the money the next time he got paid to pay it off but he never did. When summer came around and I stopped getting a paycheck I couldn't pay the minimum and ended up defaulting. He got all of the kudos for being mr generous husband and I had my credit score take a huge hit and got stuck with a balance plus interest it took me years to take care of.
That is who he is. And who I was back then, the wife who was so taken by his "generosity" and forgave the financial mishap because hey, it's the thought that counts. F that!! I always thought he was just so adorably financially clueless--but now I see it is deliberate and manipulative. He will pay for things that when he can get props for it, but all of the mundane, lets keep the electricity on and make sure we have heat and our car is insured type of bills always get neglected and fell on me. Or he would play the "poor us" card and get someone to bail us out. But he never would pay anyone back. He'd work out some deals. Somehow he got away with never paying back loans, avoiding those we owed and then running into them years later and somehow all debts are forgiven.
I never really thought about it until this week when I was discussing his patterns with people. Even though it seemed like he had a sudden MLC and just went crazy, the patterns were there all along. I just happened to be on his good side where I was blinded by his charm.
I am feeling awfully bitter today. Fear will do that. This D can't come soon enough. Deep breaths. Focus on today. Take on tomorrow when it is time for that. And, yes, perhaps it is time to tone down the GAL until the fins are back under control. I just have to deal with the aloneness for a while.
40s 2teens M14Y BD-10/12/13 rec-1/14 BD2-5/14 rec2-9/14 EA disc-10/14 4/15-BD 3 and triangulation ensues Served with D6/15 MS forced to leave7/15 D agreement signed 8/16 final 5/17
