Headed for D - Trying to move on

[Painter]

Put your kids first and you will always find the right answer. Take W out of the equation. What is best for your kids? How do you show the court that you are the best parent?

I'm so sorry she manipulated you this way. It sounds very cunning, and very similar to a lot of stuff that H's exW did to him. It's almost impossible to fight because it's so devious and unexpected for someone who doesn't think that way.

[CWOL]

Jim,
Let you WW figure it out for herself. Sorry, she wants to D? She needs to experience what D is really like.

[CWOL]

You are taking the high road.
Yes, "entitlement" is an understatement. I have to work full time and support my WW while she works 15 hours a week. Then hand her half my paycheck (actually she's going to get the state to garnish it). And she's the one that cheated!?!

[J5K]

So I plan on texting STBXW later this morning to tell her that my schedule will not allow me to come home earlier.

CWOL, I understand your statement about letting her figure out what it is like to D. The problem is she already knows because I was working so many hours last year that she already felt like she did not have an H. So now I will be doing the same thing and she will feel like I put my job over her. A 180 would be to come home early so she can leave, it will get me more time with the boys which is great, but when my mother was in the hospital because she had a stroke, my STBXW did not even go and visit.

I like FIL and do not wish any harm to him but I am conflicted on how to handle this. STBXW wants to get home early so that she can get some rest because she is not a morning person.

I could also speculate that she is completely lying so she can go back to Toronto to have a good time with OM. Don't even know or care anymore. I always accommodated her when it was critical but now I feel like I don't owe her much.

[dream]

In this case, I would suggest to let STBXW figure it out. She has choices she can make. She doesn't *need* to go to Toronto... she choose to stay near her father.

So now I will be doing the same thing and she will feel like I put my job over her. A 180 would be to come home early so she can leave....

You need to be able to provide for your family. Leaving work early and spending more money will not help you do that. While you may not have made the best choices in the past with regards to working a lot, that doesn't mean you should do the opposite now. You still need to look out for the best interest of your kids and yourself. Leaving work early to convenience her, is not necessary. If this was your son having an MRI, that's a different story.

[dream]

that should say "she can choose to stay..."

[Painter]

So I plan on texting STBXW later this morning to tell her that my schedule will not allow me to come home earlier.

CWOL, I understand your statement about letting her figure out what it is like to D. The problem is she already knows because I was working so many hours last year that she already felt like she did not have an H. So now I will be doing the same thing and she will feel like I put my job over her. A 180 would be to come home early so she can leave, it will get me more time with the boys which is great, but when my mother was in the hospital because she had a stroke, my STBXW did not even go and visit.

I like FIL and do not wish any harm to him but I am conflicted on how to handle this. STBXW wants to get home early so that she can get some rest because she is not a morning person.

I could also speculate that she is completely lying so she can go back to Toronto to have a good time with OM. Don't even know or care anymore. I always accommodated her when it was critical but now I feel like I don't owe her much.

How is this putting your children first?

Do you realize how she can use this against you in a custody case?

It's not up to you to teach W any lessons. This is not about her, but about your kids. You need to be there for the kids when she isn't. Your decision seems to be coming from a place of pride and vindictiveness. Don't you get that the more she dumps the kids on you, the better your chances are to get custody?

Document each instance and take the kids every chance you get.

[J5K]

Painter,

This is my weekend with the boys anyway based on our nesting plan with the court.

I will be home at my normal time which is 530. W wants me there sooner, I guess I should not care what her reason is.

[CWOL]

Jim,
MRI on a Saturday at 6:45am? Seems awfully convenient.
You have a tendency to blame and doubt yourself for things that you don't own. You are probably right, just an excuse for your WW to take off early for the weekend.

[Painter]

Painter,

This is my weekend with the boys anyway based on our nesting plan with the court.

I will be home at my normal time which is 530. W wants me there sooner, I guess I should not care what her reason is.

But aren't you going back to court about custody? This is ammo for you in a custody case... Her leaving the kids with you to take off. If you can then document that there was no family illness, you will have such a strong card on your hands.

Give her all the rope you can when it comes to the kids. It has nothing to do with your R with her.