Hi Thornton, good luck for your meeting and do remember to go in with no expectations - and definitely try and avoid R talk!
She may be missing you and want to check the temperature. Equally she may want to keep things on friendly terms but arrange to get her stuff. Just know that you will be fine either way.
Take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Yesterday was exactly 3 months since the last time I saw her. We met at a coffee shop and as soon as she laid eyes on me, she broke down and wept. She hugged me and wouldn't let go.
We spoke for a few hours and she could not stop crying. Other people in the coffee shop must have felt like I was breaking up with her!
I stayed even keeled and just listened and validated. We had some funny moments during the convo and we both laughed but she would eventually go back to crying.
She told me she's been sleeping in my shirts for a while now and has been experiencing "physical pain" because she missed me so much.
She basically owned all of her issues. This caught me off guard because I'm not used to her falling on her own sword and admitting fault.
She told me she wasn't going to let her pride get in the way of reaching out to me, even if it meant I had moved on. She had to try.
All in all, a good convo. I did not commit to anything and told her I was still kind of in shock. But I did tell her I was open to talking some more and seeing where that would lead us.
I ended the meeting and said I had to get going. We walked outside and she gave me another long hug and cried. I could tell she wanted to kiss me but I kept my cool. She then walked half way to her car and turned around and came back to me and hugged me again.
As soon as I got home, she texted me and thanked me seeing her and that it was so good to see me again. I said it was really nice to see her too.
Well folks, there you have it. I will keep you posted as things progress...
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
Looking at your history, I see there was a period apart last year. How does this compare with what happened then?
Last time I was in so much pain, that I basically took ALL the blame for the split. Looking back, this was a big mistake. She never owned her piece. I was happy to accept all the blame as long as she was back in my life.
This time, I am not taking all the blame. And I won't be a doormat just to keep her in my life. Sure, there were things I could have done better. But, there were lots of things she could have done better as well. I won't accept all the blame this time. She would have to show me through her actions that she is working on herself.
Wow, Thornton. You were awesome. Definitely keep posting.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Delighted for you. You handled it well. I'll let someone who has gone through piecing advise you, but I would take my time and make her wait. Again this is not to play with her but to give her the chance to prove with her actions as well as words that she is fully in.
You are in a great place mentally.You can do this.
Keep us in the loop.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
