I hear what you are saying DDJ but do you know the other side, did her H make any changes, do anything different, etc.
From my own experience of my parents, my Dad left when I was the same age as my son is now, we have talked long and hard about it. There was no other involvment and he says he never stopped loving my mother but my mother never changed, and he got to the point were he knew she never would. He was right, my mother never changed, she got on with things but never altered her lifestyle.
As much as I'm giving my W the space she wants, I am using it to look at my marriage also. I have seen so often were my W told me she would try, wanted to etc but when push came to shove she didn't do.. I do question whether my W would be able to do what is necessary to turn around but only time will tell. As you say we have to focus on us, recognize our weaknesses, learn from them and believe that we will be all right no matter what. It [censored] and I'm not always the best at following my own advice but that is what we are all here for, to support, to keep reminding each other of our direction and to hold our heads up and push forward into the unknown.
In one of Sandi's posts she says we may afraid to do things but even if that is the case we do it!
