It was just reading some other posts, that's why it was an open question. I have been pulling away from her as much as possible. I agree she is toxic and there is nothing I want to be with right now if that is who she wants to be. Trust me.
My thought process was that it's his little group of friends that are supporting her, if W was using him in some way it could potentially blow up her support network.
As you say, I happy to pull away, I have noticed a weight off my shoulders and feeling free more this week than before. Having the kids ask me questions that I'm sure now came from her helps see how she is willing to be. I will keep going the direction I'm going.
I get what you're saying, but an eye for an makes the whole world blind. Except for the last guy.
Don't worry about her support network. Make sure that yours are great and ones that add value. You need to feel a sense of calm, and thinking about her is not going to get you that.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
Have felt better this past week in particular, haven't concerned myself with who or what W has been up to. IC has been helping me with that, allowing her the space to fix the parts I can't if she wants to. I now have the support here and IC on the same page which helps me, letting her go but from a place of love and care, allowing her to go find herself and, if need be, make mistakes without feeling the need to protect or fix things for her.
Kids did tell me some things they did and that they were with another mother and kid for a day at a medieval festival. I'm sure it was the same one we all went to last year and where we had a great time. W and I had a good day that day, and I bought her a metal belt that she looked at without her knowing. Surprised her with it later.
I do find it hard thinking of good times, even the other day I was buying some clothes and (unusual for most men, I know) I used to love going shopping with my W. Getting her to try on new clothes, just getting to look at her over and over again as she did so. Throwing her random silly items to try on, some she would and others not..
Other than that, kept busy, gym last night and watched the soccer game with a friend. Tonight I will plan some activities for this weekend with my kids as I pick them up tomorrow morning again. Still makes me shake my head that W will use them to gather info, but will wait and see if last time was a one off or not.
One thing that I remember from DR, and I think it's in relation to LRT, is there can be 3 things that happen. 1. Nothing, 2. Curiosity, 3. Overnight change of heart. I do feel that my W falls into number 2, when she was in the house she was always asking where and who I was with, now the kids are too...
Also 2 weeks and I take the kids to the Middle East for a week to visit my father, he has a small boat and has seen dolphins in the waters around him. Can't wait to give this experience to my kids, shame W doesn't want to be part of the family anymore but it's her decision. Need to keep moving onward and upward.
Ugh feel better having no contact than actually having to deal with W....
Just texts between us about my travel plans with the kids. How did it become so much work talking to my W.....
I just dealt with the specifics, got some long winded messages back. She also asked when WE were leaving, I just answered thank you for the offer but I've made alternative arrangements (thanks painter). W is still pushing for the car though. I will be parking it at the airport.
Oh here we go, it's coming now.... The message I just received...
"I want to be clear. Under no circumstances is it ok for our car to be parked somewhere out of my reach while you are out of the country with our children."
So W looks like she will use permission forms for traveling (which I don't think I need) as ransom to have the car when I'm away with them. Seriously!!! This is my life now...
So W looks like she will use permission forms for traveling (which I don't think I need) as ransom to have the car when I'm away with them. Seriously!!! This is my life now...
Sorry to say that is life... I went through that too. My WW used my S11 as ransom to get her $$$, by threatening to deny him permission to leave the country.
It's amazing that some marriages survive the D process!
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
Well that appears to be your life for now, so you better get used to it, and always have a back up plan. don't make things comfortable for her, but don't make them uncomfortable either.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
I'm just amazed at the levels they will go, to use their own kids. I wasn't trying to make it uncomfortable, leaving early and arriving early.. Do want to remind her that she suggested I remove her from the car insurance.
None of it is any good and that is bad DDJ, mine also went to see OM when daughter was sick one weekend. I have followed your thread DDJ and you are doing well in your situation.
