Hi Melweb, we S at BD so my sitch is different - but I can certainly understand you finding the situation intolerable.

My H seemed unsure about things for a while. We met up once and chatted, had a big hug. He seemed wistful and later told me how swept away he felt by me and how he so wanted to hold my hand. But I later found out that he was all booked to fly off and visit OW the following weekend. Ugh.

When he later told me about wanting to hold my hand and be romantic. I clearly told him that there will be no romantic R with me while he is in any way involved with someone else. Now, I haven't seen him since that point, he is still with OW and he filed for D. But actually, I never regretted saying that to him, and I never wavered on that point either. It was a sanity saver.

I would say - think primarily of your own comfort and sanity here - and protect those things first and foremost. Xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus