Cube, thanks for the reassurance!! I've done as much research as someone can do. And I want my wife to state we disagree on divorcing, but it takes two in a M like Michelle suggests. I feel my kids should know I didn't want this without shooting blame at her. Show them it's ok to fight for what you want. Interesting on the no crying or sad statement. Haven't heard that before. Can you expand on that theory?
Hi Scotch,
I totally get where you are coming from, but I really don't think that your looking at this right. This conversation is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is not about who wants this and who doesn't. THEY WILL SEE THAT ONE DAY. She is there mom, and they love her just as they do you.<--think about that. There is NO winner and NO loser in this for them. This conversation is about explaining to them what is going to happen and your goal as a loving father should be to minimize the pain this sitch will have on them.
I think your statement about wanting them to see she wanted this and you didn't, and the fact you haven't seen anything about not crying or being sad means that you have not done as much research as anyone can do. This seems to be 101, from my googles. You need to do more research. Make sure that you and your W discuss the convo before. Be on the same page, even if it is not a book you want to read. I know that you are hurting, and I know it is not fair. You have to "Take on for the team" here.
They will look to you for emotional guidance on how to react, if you are sad, they will be sad. IF you are STRONG, they will have a better shot at being strong. Sorry for the 2x4, but again. THIS IS NOT ABOUT WHO IS RIGHT AND WRONG. THIS IS NOT ABOUT WHO WANTS THIS. It is about your kids, and one of the most life changing conversations they might ever have. Do your part to minimize this impact. Your WW doesn't deserve this but your kids do.
