Sparkling none the wiser

[Sparkls]

Hey all,
life is going okay. I'm having a down day unfortunately. Still don't know how my life ended up like this, but I'm trying ot make the best of it.
Being back in PA [censored]. I got a subpoena to go testify at H's prelim (likely won't actually have to). A mutual friend has been begging me to call the DA and beg to have charges dropped (as if that was even something I could do).
I don't want him back, but there's still a part of me that wants him to beg to come back, ya know? To realize what a gigantic mistake he made. Guess part of me hoped all the time he'd have to think in jail would make him come to his senses some.
But most of that is just my bad day talking. Had a dream about him last night that he came crawling back and I decided to give him a second chance and we were happy again. I know that's not reality, but it was still a nice dream.

I can't wait to be out of here. I close on my house at the beginning of June. Can I just fastforward a month please? I felt so much better when I wasn't stuck living in "our" place.

A friend of mine had a quote posted on her facebook that's my new guide
"If a person doesn't want to take responsibility for the consequences of their actions, they may try to blame others. DOn't accept blame or try to fix things for them when you've done nothing wrong. They need to learn that if they want different outcomes, they will have to make different choices."

H has constantly made the decision to not respect authority or boundaries and time and again it's gotten him in trouble. He doesn't understand that if he doesn't get the answer he wants, he cant just find a way to circumvent the system. like in this case, he didn't want to wait, so he decided to break in. That's not a normal response to being told to wait. And his consequence is jail time because you don't get to just break into people's houses. And I'm over it. I want to just walk away from all his bullsH*t and start my new life.

30 days.