Well, still never joined gym (gonna try tomorrow) and no babysitter doodler, but i'm crying here whilst catching up on work for my second job. Just an hour that does not seem to want to end.
@darknes, she did say that she wants to build trust, and needs/wants to be honest. I do believe that she needs to fall in the "don't ask" category though, although i get the feeling that she wants me to ask her. I could not help myself with asking. I really could not. I was looking for peace of mind, but never got it and with a response of "ask no questions and i'll tell no lies", what else can i do.
She is starting to pursue me, giving me a hug in the morning when i get out of the car when i go to work, and kissing me when she got home today and now before she left to go out. I think i'm doing well with keeping my distance, but distance and detachment are clearly 2 very different things.
I apologized because I need to be stronger, not for her, but for myself (never told her that). I know that I cant let her dictate how i feel,but it's just so hard. I need to focus. I need to get away.
Hopefully getting the second car tomorrow and will go for a drive, anywhere and nowhere.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
