Wife files D after I confronted her 2nd EA (4)

[CWOL]

I read up on Kübler-Ross five stages of Grief. I think I am stuck in the Anger and Depression stages. Anger in that I keep thinking about WW's lies, manipulation, deceit, etc. for all these years. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I keep thinking dark thoughts about lashing out, getting revenge, etc. I know Detaching from my emotions for her will help me get over these stages. But how do I convince myself not to seek revenge? Lately it has been consuming me, I have to consciously force myself to think about something else to get my mind cleared.

In the beginning I had some anger as well, it let up when WW pretended to piece with me. But lately it has really intensified as the D is spiraling around me and I have no control over it. I just want her to feel the same pain I am feeling. I know she is feeling pain as well but she hides it from me. When we sit together for dinner last night and had some funny discussions with S11, I keep thinking to myself, isn't this enough? Why does she need to destroy this?

Ugh, I need to conquer these dark thoughts of vengeance, they are consuming me!