Starting to do things right?

[PacLove]

Quick update... W is "portraying" ambivalence about going away this weekend but think she really wants to come on the weekend, as of now we are planning to go together. She originally was trying suggest coming for only one day (as she has to work some this weekend) which I was not comfortable with, I either want her there or not (I believe she perceived that as me wanting her to come).

So here we are - leaving tomorrow heading down the coast to a romantic getaway with D. I'm still not sure how to act on the weekend. Part of me wants to put all our issues aside and have a pleasant weekend and remind her of what family is like, not sure if that's possible but will try. I found out she spent the night at OM on Tues though so that is weighing on me heavy right now, like a deep pain and reminder that "he's" still in the picture.

At the recommendation of a coach/MFT I'm also planning to present a letter to her this weekend highlighting all my failures in our marriage and seek forgiveness - this is not an attempt to reconcile (and I clearly call that out in the letter) but a way for me to lay it all out on the table so I can feel good about moving forward with or without her.