Yes, I am willing to work on the libido issue. I found MWD and this board through The Sex-Starved Marriage. Unfortunately, H doesn't think I can ever get my libido high enough to give him the passionate relationship he wants. I haven't hit the big M yet.
I am as sure as I can be about the affair. He might be going through an MLC, but self-doubt and wanting to (probably) divorce me are the only real signs. No crazy expenditures, no partying. He's an engaged parent. He is still kind and thoughtful in his daily interactions.
I worry about pushing him away if I'm less helpful and friendly than usual--it's tricky because he hasn't made a decision--but I kind of feel like I am a package deal, and he shouldn't be able to pick and choose the parts of me he wants to keep. What you said about letting him see what it's like to miss me really hit home.
Have you seen an OB-GYN about this? Most conventional doctors will not test your hormone leves, and don't believe that women need testosterone. They are wrong. You should have all those hormones tested, including your thyroid.
I asked my doctors several times over the years to test them, and they refused. (I was already being treated for thyroid disease.) Finally, I found a different doctor (by then, H had already started an EA) and she discovered that my testosterone levels were below normal and gave me a topical, plant-based cream. It made a real difference.
Don't let conventional doctors who are trained in a tradition that does not take women's problems seriously, hold you back on this.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
