My biggest mistake in this process was trusting WW, not seeing the signs, not asking questions before the BD. Then, as I began to DB, I still couldn't wrap my mind around her actually having another EA/PA. Oh well, we are supposed to trust people in our lives.
I'm in the gym less, but running almost every day now. Still not eating or sleeping as well as I should but trying. Returning to college June 1st, unless L thinks I should hold off. Reading a lot, talking to a lot of support people, IC, neighbor therapist, family... Looking for a divorce care group or men's group to join.
Spending real quality time with my Ds. They are amazing. I wish I could protect them from WW mess, but I can't. I will have to say sorry to them in the future for not being able to protect them more.
Interactions with W are at a min. I'm not pursuing. It's down to the occasional text about kids. I thinks she is finally done temp checking and munipulating. Must not feel there is any reason left to try to play games with me.
D is moving slowly, entering the discovery phase.. When the Ls ask for phone records, bank info, ect. Thought I would be excited to get closure with phone records, but am actually dreading seeing the truth of the last 12 months. It will be closure though, pain that I will need to process through.
Go easy on yourself Ralph, this is so hard. It may take a very long time to have closure or to even want real closure. And no need to rush that, it's okay to just take it day-by-day. None of this happened over night and so it will take even longer to come out on the other side. You are right tho, no reason to play games with her. Just keep taking care of you and the kiddos.
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
