There's really no sense arguing over possessions at this point as others have pointed out -- if things get to the point of divorce you'll both need to disclose all of your assets and income sources and you'll go through an exercise at that point to divide things amicably. The only real risk is if she would take things and then claim they never existed which is where your video comes in.
Regarding telling people you're separating, or she's moving out -- that was something I *dreaded* in my sitch. After the fact, I found that people were either exceptionally supportive, or really didn't care that much. I think that you build up in your mind that everyone is going to be gossiping about you or judging you but in reality it doesn't register that high on anyone's radar. The other thing that happened after I told people what was going on is that a lot of them confided in me their own relationship challenges -- no one's relationship is as good as it looks from the outside.
It's been a few years since she moved out at this point, I'm divorced, and because of what I went through friends still come to me to ask for advice and see me as a safe place to discuss their relationship challenges. I think you'll be surprised to find that disclosure can actually deepen your friendships.
Good luck!
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
