Quote: Problem now... he has not initiated... NOT EVEN ONCE!!! Why is that??? Do I now have to do all the work of planning, initiating and 'finishing'???
I always read my own situation into anyone else's, but...it's hard to initiate, because every time I have initiated for the last 6 years, and the vast majority of times I have initiated for the last 18, I have been pushed away, and (1) it really hurt, and (2) she acted like I was hurting her in a significant way that I don't understand.
If *you* initiate, then it's safe for him to reciprocate. But does he know that he really has permission to initiate?
If I were you, I'd try something like: "OK, next time it's your turn. When you feel like you'd like to have sex, think of a fun way of initiating. I'll be waiting!" If my wife said that to me, that would be a lot more effective than any thong.
Now if you're teasing and flirting and he's waiting for you to push to the next step, it may be because we've all read how women like to take things slowly, one step at a time, warming up over the course of a few decades. So he may be letting you set the pace. If you don't want a slow, gradual buildup to gentle sex, help him know what you want. If you want him to take the initiative, say so. If you want him to (I can't bring myself to write it down here), say that too.
