Thank you everyone for your kind messages, they brought tears to my eyes. Last time I was NC I was feeling so much better so I don't understand why I'm like that now! Job I know he is never going to come back, why would he? OW has grown up kids whereas ours are both under ten and requires a lot of attention. If we wanted to go out we'd have to pay for a babysitter, OW doesn't have this problem. I think he has finally found someone who suits him and his lifestyle! What I can't get over is the betrayal. I put him on a pedestal as I thought he was a man of integrity. He left (and this was repeated by his family) his first partner because he didn't love her and was unhappy. I honestly thought that if he was to stop loving me he'd do the same, but no he had to bring into marriage a 3rd person. I know for sure that if I hadn't been told about OW, we would still be together! As my IC said still together but unhappy! I truly thought we were having a rough patch because he still hadn't dealt with his mum's death and because we were doing il the house. Now looking back I can see that it was his guilt about OW! He never really tried to save M, we went to MC but at the time I didn't know that there was OW! We had decided to sale and go for a long vacation with kids (first real one since birth of first child!), and that is why I put up with this unhappiness as I thought it was just as phase and was really looking forward some time together as a family, and I was robbed of that too! A very close friend of mine was saying that since I started dating him, he never really treated me well but didn't want to say anything! I'm struggling as I feel abandoned, let down, taken advantage and once I wasn't good enough for him I was discarded like an old tissue! I know he is no good to me, so why do I still want to hold on to him? Surely I can do better than him. I have travelled more than him, moved from my home country to start a new life (before I met him) in a new country and I earn more than he does! His OW is from our town (born and bred there), as a lower paid job, she is blonde (coloured blond) and I'm a brunette. I have values and put my family first ( maybe not enough from his point of view), so why on earth would he go with someone like her! I know I shouldn't focus on both of them but so far all I can see is that he is happy: leading a single life with a GF, no kids or day to day responsibilities whereas I have to deal with all of that! Even now in his voice you can hear that its tone is happy, more relax and it feels like the guilt has left his body and mind! This has happened since NC! How can they both of them honestly look into a mirror and feel no guilt, no shame? What about consequences? My H hasn't had any so far! That is so unfair! He is looking good for OW as he is seeing his kids a lot and as a woman I'd fall for that kind of man who spend so much time with his kids! It'd tell me that he is a good person. Why couldn't he be like that with me?
