Congratulations on job interview. That is fantastic. You only just moved! You are doing amazing and I promise you it is going to get easier. You have been through the worst allready. Life can only go up at this point. And it sounds like it is. This space will give you time to reflect on what you are willing to put up with in a relationship. Allow yourself the necessary time to grieve and then focus on what presently surrounds you.
I think certain people are just incapable of committing. You are though, and I really stand by this thought... You deserve so much more then someone capable of cheating. You will realize this with some distance. You are such a powerful poster. You stand up for others with so much strength, intellect, and clarity. I think you need to start doing this for yourself.
What is love anyway? Selfless love is a lot to expect in a marriage. I'm sure he does love you. But maybe its all about degrees.
Thank you, I'm very happy I was able to find something in my specialty so quickly. It is really underpaid for my experience and skill level, so that makes it easier to get hired, of course , but it gives me a lot of freedom and has benefits, so it's a trade-off.
I'm reading and re-reading your thoughts on my situation. I do feel like it can only get easier from here, and I'm optimistic about my future. I'm still terribly sad about what has happened, and like you said, it takes time to grieve that. Just can't be rushed (or covered up by a new relationship). And there's also ties - emotional and energetic - that take some time to break. I think of it as roots for a plant. My roots have been growing for 15 years and they can't be cut without causing injury.
I know that if someone else told me the same story, I would be flabbergasted about why they would even consider to continue or rekindle a relationship with someone who could treat them like that. But the heart is such an unpredictable thing.
I've never stayed with a cheater before - there were a few times in non-exclusive, new relationships where I felt someone else was around and I just lost interest immediately. I got cheated on seriously once right before I met H, and I told the guy off and never talked to him again, although I was terribly hurt and upset for quite a while afterwards.
Maybe once I have disconnected more, I will feel differently about H.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
, but it gives me a lot of freedom and has benefits, so it's a trade-off. 