More detachment, anxiety and the joys of limbo

[Phoebe]

I think your junk food analogy about spousal contact is dead on, Painter. I crave it, yet it leaves me feeling sick - both heart sick, and physically sick. Definitely liking the time off from both. I'm so sorry that you had a rough time after hearing from you own H. It really is a difficult trigger. Try not to read too much into anything he writes.

I'll be sure to drink plenty of water. I've been on this dose many times in the past, and I've always tolerated it well, but I do know my BP gets a bit low on it. On the other hand, my tolerance for the shakes is at an all time low, so I'm going to take it. Shaky this morning again, but that's definitely from food deficiency, and nothing new.

SadHub, your'e off to a great start on your meditation! I did 15 minutes yesterday evening, and it was OK. I had a hard time getting non-focused! Road noise kept invading my mental space. I tried again last night before bed, and found myself falling asleep, so I guess I was doing a better job. After 10 minutes I thought I couldn't possibly stay awake, so I called it off. Here's the kicker, though, After that I lay awake for HOURS, so that was frustrating. Eventually I got to sleep with some pharma intervention and then overslept, but I needed it.

I just did 20 minutes of meditation again, and did a better job, but I did find myself having thoughts that took me a bit of time to recognize and then release. Still, it was a much better session than either of yesterday's attempts, so I'll call it a success.

I have an appointment with my therapist again this afternoon, and I have to go gather up my chickens before I head out. It's a beautiful day here and they're out having a jolly time doing birdie things. I have found a lot of solace in my animals over the last few months.

Oh, I forgot - I saw The Jungle Book yesterday. My two companions really liked it, and I told them I agreed, but, honestly, I thought it was just OK. I wasn't that fond of the little kid (on his behalf, it's got to be pretty tough to act authentically when you are just standing in front of a green screen, as the movie is all CG), and the movie was filmed in 3D, which I always find to be just a silly gimmick. Anyway, that's my 2 cents. I really did, however, enjoy getting out and spending time with other people, so overall I had a great time.

Wishing everyone a day of peace and healing.