5 weeks in since she said she doesnt love me.

[Stormchaser]

Kinda agree with everyone here. She's not showing remorse at all.

What my W did when I found out:

1. Nearly had a nervous breakdown. Immediately left the house when I told her to get out. Was suicidal as well, curled in a fetal position in some seedy hotel room when I got to her.
2. She called her best friend to get an appointment with HER counselor (when her friend and H had M issues) and set up an appointment for the two of us for IC and MC.
3. Showed immediate remorse and vowed to do "whatever it took" to save the marriage - and vowed to dig deep to see why she would even do such a thing (and has been in IC and MC for the last 9 weeks).

I understand your sitch, too. My W has been with her company for 5 years and she finally broke through a pay barrier and is now making good money, enough for us to finally enjoy. For her to start over at 49 would be so difficult, if not impossible, for a woman in her line of work. We would probably have to stop IC and MC if she were to quit - so its a double edged sword. Yes, she still has to work with OM, but I've no indication that this is still going on - quite the contrary, she knows if there was any inkling of the A reigniting and me finding out, the consequences would be devastating.