Life's a Dance-One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

[melweb]

Some updates to my sitch and a confession:

I went to Mexico with H last week. I agreed to go, after first saying "no," during one of his "in" moments. And after several "in and out" moments that you all know of, I decided I was going for ME!! That I would have a great time regardless of which side of the fence he was on!! I bought some sexy dresses and underwear and, dammit, I was going!!

Well, the Tuesday before we leave H, has an "in" moment and by Friday he is back out. I'm like "Whatever, dude!" By Saturday night he is back "In" and asks me to look into MC when we get back. I say I need proof the A is over--I see the NC text he sends her and he blocks her phone # and on FB. The week in Mexico is awesome (or so I think!) We really did have a good time, hung by the pool, I got a spa etc. I saw him having fun, relaxed--I rarely see him like this. He is usually stressed/depressed because of work (and his double life probably)

By last night I am leery to ask for NC confirmation, but I must. So I say "I found an MC we might like, when is good time for you?" He says "nights." I say "A is over right? Because we cannot fix this if you are in active A." He says "yes, why do you ask?" Me: I am just making sure. When did you last contact her? H: Mexico. Me:Wow!!! H: Mutual friend reached out to me and asked me to contact her because she is not doing well. Its been 5 months, you cannot just expect me shut off my feelings. Me: No, but those feelings won't go away if you're still in contact with her. H: I'm trying.

Which is totally bogus!! He is not trying at all, not if he is still having contact and sexting her.

Anyhow, he says he will still go to MC, but I am not sure if its even worth it. (I know I need to go tho.) Says he wants to work on M, but afraid in 6-8 months, his feelings for me still haven't returned. (He needs passion remember)

I am dropping the rope. Again.