Updating a bit... Thanks MB and underdog and jksd for the kind and wise words. I re read these recent posts after my meeting with stbx and the lawyers the other day and it was helpful.
Confirmed that he sees himself as the victim-- his lawyer says (while we are all sitting at the same table) "my client feels like his proposal is more than generous since he will also be paying for all the add ons,and your proposal is unrealistic and unreasonable".
His lawyer actually referred to him as "my client" while we were all sitting there.
I let myself speak in anger at the meeting. It's just infuriating that he still projects his anger onto me. And he cannot accept any reaponsibility! He leaves off one of his accounts from the (supposedly corrected) net worth statement and then says "well, it doesn't have that much money in it anyway!" (Relevance, your honor! ??!) He still doesn't seem to understand the impacts of his choices. Even his lawyer was like, "yeah, that's how it works".
I won't let myself get caught up in anger again. He wants us to finalize the parenting agreement ourselves, without lawyers. (There are a few minor changes we have both agreed to in theory ). It will be a good opportunity for me to practice staying calm and sticking to boundaries. I don't have to prove him wrong or teach him a lesson. I just have to stay calm and protect my boundaries. (I won't engage in conversation if he speaks to me with contempt; I won't be bullied into agreeing with him; etc). Deep.breaths. Now off to spend this gorgeous spring day with my gorgeous D5!
