5 weeks in since she said she doesnt love me.

[Stormchaser]

Nate, I feel for you. I'm in the same spot - W still works with OM and although she's expressed a TON of remorse and has sworn up and down nothing is going on, how do we TRULY know it just hasn't gone underground?

When I first found out, I told the wife I'll be monitoring her phone like a hawk. And sure enough, there is nothing on her phone. Again, that doesn't mean she's adding a chat program and deleting it immediately. OR - even, she may be just keeping the A going at work and I have no idea.

W can't find another job due to the situation she's in. She worked years to get to the position and income we've needed, so for her to quit would set us back horribly financially. But when I've brought it up before, she says, "I'm completely transparent with you, I don't know what else I can do to prove to you I'm 100% back into fixing the marriage and no longer involved with him. Why would I jeopardize the reconciliation?" Which is true, I mean, how else can you prove it? Short of putting a voice recorder on her 24/7, I only have her word. But I think this is something I have to bring up in MC.

Just recently, I found the OM W's phone number. I'm still on the fence about contacting her, being we're going into 3 months of recovery. MC said its a very bad idea, but still - I want the [censored] to suffer like I did.