what is compounded onto my recent heartbreak is my ex. My life is busier, D8's life has become busier, which means mine has too. I am exhausted by doing everything myself. I was on the fence about asking ex to take an extra weeknight every now and then, but when he cancelled his extra this week I told him we needed to have a serious talk about division of responsibilities.
His answers just left me shaking my head. He thinks everything is going wonderfully. I told him everything is going wonderfully for him. I expressed my needs and D8's needs, and he shot me down. He won't do it. His commute is too stressful. I live in a different town (20 min away, no biggie). he's only ridiculous resolution is to move D8's school to his town and then "he can help out a little more" I was just flabbergasted. he also think he is was so helpful when he started taking D8 2 years ago on the Sunday night in his weekend. I did that for D8, she was desperate for more time with her dad.
I told him its just sad how many men I know who walk the ends of the earth to be with their kids, and a 20 minute car ride is too much. I also told him I know if he wanted to be a full-time dad he would have had a kid with his W. I know it's not his desire, but he should step up for the one he has. I'm going back to court for more CS and for babysitter money. I'm going to consult a lawyer through work and see if I can get some money towards a babysitter when I need it. It took a lot for me to ask him to take some more time with his kid. I obviously am trying anything to get some help.
What am I going to do? Can't force a man to be a real dad. He will happily remain Uncle Dad if it means effort on his part to be a real dad. He tried to temp check me last night, but I didn't bite. I feel like D8 and I will always pay for his selfishness, and he will get away with everything for the rest of his life.
If exNG was able to really commit to me I wanted to move in eventually. I was slightly worried exH wouldn't let me. But I realize from our convo he would have happily let us. He doesn't want the one weeknight he has. However, my dating will be done locally, no longer long distance. It was the one thing D8 asked of me last week. I would be a liar if I often didn't think of moving far away with her. Somewhere cheaper with new people and warmer weather.
JKsD, you made me realize this is my first real breakup since the D. I've dated guys, it has ended, but this was the first real one with promise and families introduced, talk of the futre, and such. so yeah, I guess this is my first real break up post D. And it is surprisingly as painful. I always thought after the D, anything else would be a piece of cake. I would just say "whatever". Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Thanks, I feel a little more normal now.
