I think it comes from pool. I've watched a lot of players lose because they break down under pressure. It's like they are so, so, so uncomfortable that they just hurry up and shoot, rushing their shot, because they'd rather lose than endure more pressure of facing defeat. That's not so great.
Sometimes I wonder if I did this. Was I too impulsive? Did I self sabatoge with taking husband to court/ calling him out at court/ a lot of my reactions? I am Definatly more comfortable out of limbo. At time I felt like such a failure and so guilt ridden.
now I feel like my reactions are my reactions.
My son was being particularly defiant a few days ago. he intentionally jumped on me and head butted me. It hurt! I love my son more then anything but my reaction was certainly not one of a kind and patient Mommy.
I am going to forgive myself for my reactions to button pushing and bad behavior. I never claimed to be a super spiritual guru type of person anyway. In relationships People react, they fight, they make up. They don't look for excuses and manipulations to justify their actions.
