Headed for D - Trying to move on

[CWOL]

I don't know how to stop this entitlement feeling she has to be a SAHM.

If she filed for D, and you're in a no-fault state, the judge will usually give her a "transitional" period where she is expected to seek gainful employment, assuming she has enough time to spend for the 50% or whatever custody she gets. The alimony (spousal support) should be calculated with that assumption so it cliffs and sunsets eventually in one or two years.
At least that's what was explained to me, in my situation.