I know that I wish I could have had my WAW leave sooner after the BD. I know this looking back now, while initially I wanted her to stay. I share this with you as many told me that it was very toxic while she was under the same roof due to her bitterness and anger. They told me once she moved out that I could begin the healing process. I now know they were right as while I still struggle the past week and a half it has been better than the last 3 months.
There are more moments of peace that add up to help through the difficult moments. I am still having my struggles but I am seeing the triggers and time frames that I can brace for. I can also see what triggers and time frames that I look forward to to feel good.
Mornings are the worst for me, but I am finding things to shorten the pain. Time with my baby girls is the best for me as no matter what we do I feel like I am cloud 9.
Stay focused in the moment. When it's a challenge accept it and let it pass. (See Phoebe's thread) when it's a happy moment, focus on it and enjoy it to the fullest. Try to avoid thinking backwards, that creates depression. Avoid thinking to the future, that creates anxiety. Focus on the moment and the actions and thoughts that can move you forward.
Sorry for the ramble, but these are things that I am learning and working to apply. Not easy. Not instinctive. But I know it is neccasary to heal, grow stronger, and progress to a new beginning. Also it will help you be the best father possible for your s.
Hang in there, you have support here and first hand advice and feedback for you.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
