She's thinking of leaving again 4

[Sotto]

Hi Scrant, I think you were right to ignore that and I feel it's unrealistic for her to expect that you'll want to gaily wave, chat, see her or spend time with her, given all circumstances.

I think often in our sitches things really need to tail away to almost nothing - and for time to pass in order that the ultimate outcome for the R is known. From what little I know, it does seem as though things tend to unfold over a long period of time - normally more than months - and the R with the OP truly needs to run it's natural course.

In time, many WAS's do seem to regret the choice they have made, but I think the tragedy is that often the timescale is so extended, the LBS has grieved and moved on. This is part of what I struggle with, approaching the two year mark and in the final stages of the D process. Above and beyond any possible reconciliation hope, the main thing is to know that we did the right thing, and that it was our very best. It is all we can ask of ourselves and what the situation deserves. Beyond that, our sitches are in the fate of the wider universe and each has a range of factors that will determine the ultimate outcome.

I think all of this is why we can really only focus on ourselves, try not to 'make things worse' and live our own lives. In time to come, I hope we all see this time of 'trauma growth' as very useful and that it impacts positively on us and on any possible future R, whether with our spouse or some other lucky person.

Take care, take time to grieve, then keep moving forward and living as full a life as possible, despite all circumstances.

Xx