I would hate to see you live the rest of your life in bitterness and hatred over something that your W has done to you. I've seen a lot of people do that very thing, b/c they would not go of it. Don't let her rob your peace and happiness. Let her go. Let go of this mess and stop trying to force her to do what you want.
Sandi, You are absolutely right, I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of this bitterness and hatred. I googled the various lists on the web, whether it's 7 or 10, I'm only doing a half*ssed job on them. Particularly when I wake up in the middle of the night with those thoughts racing through my brain. Need to get myself to do the rest of them fully.
The question about OM was one of those 4 AM irrational thoughts, as if my WW still cares. I really need to detach from her emotionally, which is one of the steps. Easier said than done.
It seems like many of the people I've talked to who've been through D have the same bitterness and anger in them. That is, when you really talk to them and find out what is beneath their peaceful exterior. For example, at the DC group, even several years after the D is settled. One woman has been trying to D for three years, and is totally bitter about the experience. Her H just keeps throwing money to the L's to keep the D alive, I guess. I'm very afraid I'll turn out to be one of them, given my personality. This process brings out the worst side of me on control and obsession.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
