Told the kids what is going on yesterday - Dad's leaving for a while. Both were trying so hard to come up with alternatives to me moving out. That hurt. Found a place yesterday and I'm moving this weekend. Mixed emotions about that. Leaving feels terrible, but staying is not healthy for either of us. I can't sleep well when she is around and all I can think of is the R. When I'm away I can sleep and I can focus on myself.
Started talking about visitation this morning. It led to her talking about her feelings about the R. I did a DAMN GOOD JOB of validating and keeping quiet otherwise. The one thing I did say was how hard it is for me to not swoop in and comfort her when she is hurting.
One thing I am committed to - I will teach my son everything I can about the realities of marriage. No one ever taught me how to listen to a woman, how to empathize, how to validate, how to stand up to her when needed, how to take care of yourself in a marriage, get your own needs met and how to truly take care of your mate.
