I have two weeks to go dark on her and see if that reverses the decision for divorce. During that time I have to GAL and really, truly move on, so that if/when the divorce really happens, she understands that I'm no longer there. So that I can accept it and no longer be there.
I think you're back on the right track. What have you set up for yourself to ensure that you stay on track? My suggestion, no more lunches or being overly friendly. She needs to know what it's going to be like to not be married to you. Otherwise, she's going to think she can have you (parts that she wants) and OM at the same time. Make plans for yourself and stick with them. Even if it's watching a movie at home at a certain time/day!
I had the same experience of things not going well and my ex left for the next shiny new thing... they didn't last either!
