Who am I and what do I want?

[JGuy]

Doodler, you are right, I doth protest too much. This will be my last post.

I have wanted this to be a place where I could receive support, but during the past 6 months the vast majority of what I have received is unwelcome challenge that doesn't resonate with me. When I wanted to save my M, I was told that I was being unrealistic and I should detach and GAL. When I detached and began to want out of the M, I was told that I was blaming everything on my W and my next R was sure to fail. When I shared the things that are inspiring me and helping me to grow, I was told that I was crazy for believing in those things (like astrology) and I should seek help. When I had multiple ICs and a shaman all telling me that my problem was that I undervalued myself, I was told that I was just hearing what I wanted to hear. When I dug deep and uncovered my own mistakes, I had my face rubbed in it instead being encouraged for my genuine effort to look at what I need to work on. When I shed tears and showed my vulnerability to my W, I was told that this would surely turn her off and that I should straighten up and be a "man". When I told my W "I'm coping as best I can", I was scolded for being a wussy. When I discovered deep insights into my sitch, I was told that knowing why is pointless and I should focus on action toward my goals. When I expressed my hurt about feeling misunderstood on this forum, I was told that I was being controlling. When I told the story about meeting this OW in a dream and eventually coming to find love with her after separating from my W, I was mocked and told that I am still deep in the fog.

This entire experience on DB forums has been one hurtful, negative, demoralizing comment after another when all I really needed was a hug and some validation. I'm not sure how this kind of tough feedback is supposed to actually help someone because it sure has not helped me. So, I hereby come to admit that I really don't belong here. I'm just not willing to continue subjecting myself to all of this awful disharmonious input that produces the exact opposite effect of validation.

Good luck to all of you who are still fighting the good fight. I am very happy with the outcome of my sitch and I have reached absolute certainty that this is the right outcome for me. Final bit of advice from JGuy is don't follow the book. Always follow your inner compass.

Over and out.